‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Her stockings were white, and pulled high on her thigh,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would come by.
While you prepare to get snug in your bed,
Not thinking of sugar-plums to dance in your head,
Instead you’ll down a strong holiday night cap,
And then dream of Mistress Masuimi coming over to give you some tickle and slap.
Then out on the lawn there’ll arise such a clatter,
You’ll spring from your bed to see what’s the matter.
Away to the window you’ll fly like a flash,
With hopes of seeing Masuimi’s bare breasts pressed into the glass.
Instead you look out and see your shiny red car,
Like a maraschino cherry plucked fresh from a jar.
When, what to your wondering eyes should appear,
But Masuimi Max bound naked in your car’s rear.
My poor lady! How did she fall victim like this?
You know in a moment that you must steal a kiss.
But her guard is up, she’s been trapped in the trunk,
There’s only one answer, you must get her drunk!
“Some whiskey! Some vodka! Some tonic and gin!
Manhattans! Martinis! It will all get mixed in!
She gets all dolled up for your big cocktail date,
Then gets suddenly shy, exclaiming “Dash away! Dash away, it’s gotten so late!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
She strips bare and turns to say her last goodbye.
Her dark eyes are closed, her exit mysterious,
Oh no! You might lose your chance with this Asian goddess!
And then, in a twinkling, she opens her eyes,
“You’ve been dreaming, silly fool, don’t be surprised!”
This poem is long, much longer than I thought,
I was going to write more, but now I think not.
So I’ll end on this note, and wrap this up tight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”
(For more pics, check out Masuimi Max at iamtrouble.com.)
